- on parenthood
- lesson: parenthood does not suddenly make you an all-wise, perfect being. i totally thought it did as a kid. (my parents seemed way more mature to me growing up than i feel right now, even though i'm the same age having mats as they were having me.) it is, however an inately sanctifying experience. it reminds me of our first year of marriage in that i'm suddenly seeing my own selfishness magnified against my abrupt closeness with this other person.
- resolution: be more intentional about placing matson's wants above my own. even if i have a really good want (like to finish the dishes before scott gets home), it's good to set that aside every once in a while if he is tugging at my leg wanting to play. even better to let it go if it's a purely selfish want on my part - like hanging out for an hour on the couch browsing pinterest when mats wants attention. i want him to know that he's more important to me than my laptop or a spotless sink. (please don't read this to say that i think i should be spending all day doting on my baby ... i really do think independent play is good for both of us, but i think i could also be better about making sure we have simple fun together.)
- on projects
- lesson: i'm a big dreamer, and a little follow througher. this has long been a stumbling block of mine, particularly with big projects, or house cleaning. (my floor hasn't been mopped since before matson was born.) i want to do what i say, though. i've been working on vocalizing fewer project ideas so that i at least don't feel like i'm not following through on anything ... but i also really do want to work on finishing things!
- resolution: follow through on projects! i'm going to make a list of things that i have half-baked, and do them. i'm going to have to get scott's input before finalizing this list, but it's going to include some things like setting up a college savings account for matsy, iras for us, staining our window sills, refinishing our coffee table, and finishing a picnic quilt.
- on homemaking
- lesson: for the last nine months, i've been telling myself that my house is messy and we still eat dinner at 8pm because i have a new baby ... but let's face it, he's nine months old now, generally naps well and is good about entertaining himself when he is up. my house is messy and dinner is late because i choose other things like pinterest and errands and hanging out with friends and reading books. i want a neat house and a non-rushed evening, though.
- resolution: read the frugal girl's post about scheduling my time and do something with it! possibly revisit flylady.net for inspiration. plan one crock-pot meal per week.
- on marriage
- lesson: life is busy, and it's shockingly easy to not get quality time with my sweet husband now that he's added school to the mix and we have a baby. lucky for him i'm exceedingly self-aware and will happily communicate when i feel like things aren't quite up to par with us. which is why we're instituting ...
- resolution: date night! our date night has been things like take out and watching tv/movies for the last few years, and while that's not bad, it's also not good focused communication time. since we don't have limitless hang out and communication time anymore, we need to work to get that communication time in there. so, 1-2 times per month, we're going to do an outside-the-house, matsy-free date together. could be dinner and a movie, could be a coffee date, could be a bike ride ... but something just the two of us to remember why we chose each other.
- on cooking
- lesson: we eat a lot of junk. we also eat a fair bit of tasty, healthy food ... but my fallback is always things like macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and potato anything. as mats is getting closer to eating table food, i think i'm becoming more conscious of this - i feed him things daily which i enjoy but eat rarely. (zucchini and sweet potato, for instance.) i want him to enjoy healthful food, though, not just push it aside and want mommy and daddy's soda and cheese fries instead. (we went to steak 'n shake last night - first one in the state! and it was awesome.)
- resolution: experiment with one healthy food at a time. i go on new recipe kicks sometimes and get overwhelmed. this year, i'll pick one new healthy food from time to time and go for it. first up: quinoa! i've been wanting to learn how to cook with it for a while and found some yummy recipes for it on pinterest, so we'll give it a shot. easy dinners will remain, but i'll try to limit them in favor of quick healthy dinner options. also, talk to scott about a soda ban in the house. (i had started getting generic diet root beer at the grocery store as a treat for myself, which led to us always having soda in the house and drinking it on a pretty much daily basis. diet so not terrible for us, but also not a good habit. matsy loves the shiny cans. hmm.)
- on faith
- lesson: i'm pretty bad about prioritizing bible reading time in day-to-day life. prayer is definitely getting better, but bible time has definitely not been benefited by having a baby. i joined a women's bible study at church this fall and loved it - totally loved it. in the five months between having matsy and joining study, though, no time reading the bible (just being honest), and in the month since study ended, also nothing.
- resolution: stay in bible study. definitely worth it. (there are studies offered every fall, spring, and i think even a short one in summer.) during the off weeks between studies, make sure that i have a game plan for bible time before the break occurs ... and then follow through on it.
- on finances
- lesson: i had grand plans of a mostly-unchanged grocery budget once i was staying at home. umm, yeah, that totally didn't happen! i'm not sure just how much it didn't happen yet since i haven't done my final budget update of the year with comparisons of budgeted-to-actual spending and year-to-year changes and all that ... but my grocery spending was ridiculous. my other plans of limiting food waste, eating leftovers, and doing cash for grocery also didn't pan out. and, scott generally has no idea where we stand with our budget.
- resolution: revisit my goals from a year ago. we've switched most of our spending to credit card (which we pay off in full every month) to reap that lovely 1% cash back reward, but i think we really need to go back to cash for grocery for a while, to keep a better handle on where we are with our spending for the month. i'm also toying with the idea of doing a weekly food waste photo (a la frugal girl) to motivate me on that front. do my menu planning on tuesday evenings when the grocery ads come in the mail so i can shop produce sales better. and do a monthly budget update for scott (also per fg).
- on service
- lesson: over the last few years, i've realized that my love language is acts of service, and one of my spiritual gifts is also service. (makes sense.) i love to help people. i also want matsy to grow up wanting to help people. i think it's good to live outside yourself. for the past few years, i've tutored with whiz kids, but decided not to this year since mats needs to be my priority and scott's work/school schedule could interfere with that commitment with no notice, which isn't fair to the kid i'd tutor. instead i committed to cooking a meal for the middle school whiz kids, but that happens maybe once a month. i serve in the nursery at church two sundays a month, but i have lots of great time during the week with matsy, and i really want to be able to use it to help someone (in a way that matsy can do with me).
- resolution: there's a great ministry in denver called open door ministries, which has a few residential houses to serve homeless men, women coming out of prostitution, and single moms. i started an application a few weeks ago to babysit for the single moms so that they can do things like work and go to school, but i need to actually finish it. as a new mom, i understand how totally overwhelming motherhood can be, and i have an awesome support network. i want to help provide support for other moms, and it seems like it'd be something that i could easily do with matsy during the day or on nights when scott's at class. also, i want to be open to other service opportunities that come up.
overall our life is in a pretty awesome place, but in general i feel like you're either moving forward or backward, and goals keep me moving forward. sink or swim! and for the record, these are all mental goals i've been ruminating on and working toward anyway, i just decided to list them out for better processing and in honor of the new year.
